Tainting Innosence
by ACeH-aH
Summary: A challenge from BellaVision.  Set in season 3  Helpless .  What if Giles was too late?
1. AUTHOR NOTE

Author Note:

JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THERE AREN'T ANY **REAL **CHARACTER DEATHS. So if someone dies don't worry. Just saying – I don't want to spoil it; I just don't want anyone to think I'm killing characters and stop reading.

Ok so, this fic is a challenge from _BellaVision_, so I hope it's up to their and your standards. Reviews would be nice, and I really hope you enjoy this. It's going to be a long one, so bare with me!

It starts off in the episode _Helpless, _in season 3 (when Giles injects Buffy with a muscle relaxant that takes away her slayer powers) when Buffy's trying to escape the two vampires that are after her. Hope it isn't too confusing in the beginning. If you have any questions (if I'm not being clear or something) message me, and I'll try to fix it up.

Like I said before, hope you enjoy! Chapter one is just a click away!

-S


	2. CH 1

_If I still had my slayer strength… _Buffy thought angrily to herself. _Those guys would be _so _broken nosed by now. _She glared over her shoulder at the men behind her, who taunted and harassed her. _Just keep walking. _She told herself. Why hadn't she let Angel walk her home? Because she could take care of herself. That's why. Yes, Buffy the vampire slayer could very easily take care of herself, and cruelly punish those pigs called men for their absolutely disgusting personalities. But Buffy the normal average girl with no slayer powers had to mentally kick herself for not allowing Angel to walk her. Sure, she could have let him walk her. Sure, that would have been a smarter option. But that would make her seem _not _stubborn.

She made her way across the road feeling slightly panicked that she couldn't defend herself from those men if they decided that they weren't going to take 'no' for an answer. The sidewalk didn't feel any safer to her than the road had. She missed her extreme strength and quick maneuvering skills. If her wish to be a normal girl had come true, she desperately prayed for the Powers that Be to take it back. A warning as old as time itself bustled her thoughts; _be careful what you wish for. Yeah, yeah. Some of the street lamps along the road were out; giving the place a much eerier look than her already paranoid mind gave it._

"Where you going little girl?" A deep, jeering voice stopped her in her tracks. A hungry looking vampire took his place in front of her and sniggered heinously.

Buffy tried her hardest to slip around the predator, but he wasn't going to have any of that. He sidestepped, blocking her way with a hideous grin. He moved to grab her but she stole her arm back and turned to run, screaming pleas of help out to the silent night. The creature was after her, fangs frontward, and running. He was faster than her of course.

"Somebody help me! Please, help me!" She screamed louder than she knew she could, and tugged away from him once again.

A car was coming up from the street ahead, and Buffy jumped in front of it, hands up begging for the car to stop.

"Stop!" She shouted, but the car swerved around her and continued on it's way. "Someone help me!"

He was on her again. This time, there was no escape. His arms were around her chest in seconds, constricting and squeezing the air from her lungs. He threw his head back, and then sunk his teeth into her soft flesh, sucking and licking away at the blood. Buffy was getting weaker, she could feel it. All the blood was leaving her body; she was going to die a snack. A snack for this son of a bitch from hell. It wasn't exactly how she planned to go out of the world, but she didn't have many options at this point. When her legs finally gave way, she embraced the coming darkness welcomingly. She was ready, she didn't want to die, but she wanted the pain to end. Then pain from a thousand breaths of agony, having all of your life force being sucked away, being sucked dry, ended. Her eyes grew heavy, and she let them close.

"Oh bite me." The vampire said like a bully would to his victim. He tore his wrist open with his teeth, and let the blood drip into her mouth.

All that Buffy felt, was the thick salty syrup sliding down her throat, and her body growing weaker and weaker. _Goodbye everyone. _She thought to her friends, to her mother and Giles, to Angel. _Angel…_ The rest of the world disappeared, turned black inside her death.

"Buffy!" Was the last thing she heard before slipping away, she assumed it was herself, her inner slayer trying to stay alive. But to no prevail. The picture of Angel inside her mind disappeared, and it too was replaced with darkness.

A war cry broke the vampire's concentration on Buffy, and he dropped her to the ground. A tall man with glasses was running from his car, door left open, towards the vampire with a stake raised. Giles effortlessly dusted the vampire, too shocked to defend itself, then turned to his slayer.

Buffy wasn't breathing, she wasn't moving in the slightest, and her eyes were tiny slits that stared off into space. Giles fell to the floor at her side, hands not knowing where to go. He hovered above her for a second before placing two shaking fingers on her throat, searching for a pulse. Nothing. A strangled sob choked it's way from his mouth when he realized what he'd done. He'd killed his slayer. He'd given her the needle, the one that would take away her powers, so that she could do that damned council's test, and it had cost her her life.

"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry." He whispered taking her hand. "I'm so sorry." Tears of guilt and desperate sadness crept down his face.

A snarl from behind him told him that another vampire had been waiting. With one fluid motion he grabbed the stake from the ground beside him and threw it into the vampire's heart.

He had to get Buffy to her mother; he had to deal with this. Of course, it wasn't the first time a slayer had died. Most slayers never got to the age that she had so readily passed. But all the same, _his _slayer hadn't died. She was never gone. He had never been the reason for a human's death, and knowing that it was _her _death, was too much. He loved Buffy. Loved her like a father loves his daughter.

He lifted her into his arms, and stumbled down the road, forgetting his waiting car.

Joyce Summers opened the door before Giles had reached it. He hadn't realized he'd gotten that far. It seemed like no time had passed at all since he'd lifted her limp body from the ground, but somehow he'd numbly found his way along the roads to the front gate, and then up to the door.

Buffy's mother was lost for words. She stared at Buffy's pale face and blue lips with blood smudged on her neck. A gasped "oh" escaped her lips, and she couldn't breath. _Buffy, my Buffy. _She thought to herself. The room started to spin, and she sat down on the floor in front of the couch where Giles had laid her.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered to her. To which lady his words were meant for he didn't know. Perhaps it was for both of them. His heart was clenching itself, and he found he was as lost for breath as Joyce. When she erupted into heavy sobs, Giles could only stand and stare at his poor slayer. He wanted to die, what purpose had he without her? She wasn't just his slayer, she had somehow become more than that. She'd become his family, like his daughter. His little girl. And now…

He had a phone call to make. He went into the Summers' kitchen and picked up the phone from the receiver dialing quickly. The council was going to get quite an earful that evening. "Yes this is Rupert Giles." He spat into the phone when it was answered.

"_What is it now Rupert?" _The voice on the other end said with thick annoyance floating in his words.

"She's dead." Giles was seething. He was talking to the man who'd made him kill his slayer.

"_What are you talking about Rupert, who's dead?"_

"Buffy. She couldn't defend herself, and she got attacked by a vampire, and he killed her." His voice trembled, and whether it was from his absolute fury, or his peeking sadness that caused it he didn't know. "Your little test killed her."

After the very angry phone call ended, Giles picked up the receiver that he'd slammed down again, and made another call. The coroner. He hadn't wanted to call yet, he wasn't ready. But he couldn't think of anything else to do.

After the call ended, he returned to the room where Joyce was still crying uncontrollably. He put his hand on her shoulder, and kneeled down beside her.

"What happened?" She sobbed, not peeling her eyes away from her daughter for a second.

A deep breath, and then he explained. "See these marks?" He asked quietly, moving her hair away from her neck to reveal where the vamp had bitten her. Joyce' gasp was a mixture of shock and pain. _My poor baby, _she thought miserably. "She was attacked," he explained quietly still. "I got there just in time to see the thing kill- I was too late. I could have saved her if I had been just a little sooner… She could still have been alive." He put his hand over his eyes. "Oh Joyce I'm so sorry."


	3. CH 2

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, my excuse is an injured arm. That would also explain the shortness of this chapter. I'll post again soon.**

"I just can't believe she's…" Willow felt numb, too numb to find the words to explain her numbness, to numb to feel Xander's warm arms wrap securely around her. _How could Buffy be dead? _

"I know Will, I know." He whispered to her, fresh tears pooling in his eyes.

"But I mean, Buffy can't die, Buffy's the slayer." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Do you think Angel knows?" Her bottom lip trembled, but she didn't know why. The pain hadn't set in. _I must be in shock._

"I don't know." Xander couldn't stop his despair from overflowing, the pain was deep, the loss of his friend, one of the greatest friends he'd ever had – every imagined having. No, the pain ran deeper than that. Buffy was more than that.

"Should we call him?" Willow asked unsure, Buffy's boyfriend should know.

The teenage boy drew a rattled breath and then released Willow from his embrace. "I can't." His voice broke with salty wet liquid pouring down his cheeks. "I can't."

Willow took his arm and hers, and leaned her head against his shoulder. He breathed shakily again and then kissed the top of her head.

"What are we going to do now?" He asked. "Our whole lives since Buffy got here has been slay, slay, apocalypse, slay some more, I don't think we can ever go back…" He tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in his throat. "It'll never be the same without Buffy."

At his words, Willow felt herself coming down from her high. He was right of course; nothing ever could be the same with Buffy gone. Buffy had come to Sunnydale a little over a year ago, and she and the red head girl and become quick friends. But Buffy had also brought a dark secret with her – one that would forever change the lives of Willow and Xander.

"Buffy's gone." Her lip jutted out and trembled as tears began to form quickly. She shook slightly, not welcoming the sudden flow of emotion that made her heart break into a million pieces. "Buffy's really gone." She sobbed once and pulled her face into Xander's shirt, holding onto him for dear life. He wrapped his arms around her and looked up, trying to escape his tears, and blinking them back furiously. As much as his heart yearned for her, as much as his reasons to live didn't seem to matter anymore, crying wouldn't help. He couldn't cry forever. But his heart betrayed his mind quickly and he began shaking and crying again, into his dear friend's hair.

"The funeral will be held tomorrow evening, so you should be able to attend." Giles said emotionlessly to Angel, sitting on the couch across from him in the Summers' living room. Joyce was in the kitchen, on the phone with Buffy's father. From the sound of it the call wasn't going too well.

Angel stared ahead of him, not quite seeing anything in particular. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. Buffy had been safe in his arms only a short while ago, lying with him, kissing him, holding him… How could it be that she was gone? His mind rejected the truth, she couldn't be dead. She just couldn't. But she was, and he knew in his heart that it was his fault. _I knew she was weak, _he thought miserably to himself. _I knew she was weak, and I didn't bring her home. _He groaned and threw his head into his hands. _I could have protected her – I could have saved her._ His thoughts wreaked havoc on him, how could it not be his fault?

The coroner had come to take Buffy away only minutes before Angel had arrived. He'd missed her by that much. His last chance to really see her. He'd have to wait for the funeral now to see her, if he went. He knew he had to go; he had to pay his final respects to his love. Maybe end himself later. But he didn't know if he could handle it. Handle seeing her there, dress in a pretty dress, hair done up, looking asleep, peaceful even. He didn't know if he could bare the sight of her only meters away from him, and not be able to hold her, to see her face drained of her once beautiful colour, cold with eyes unable to open.

"He'll be on the first plane here." Joyce Summers said from the threshold between the kitchen and the room they were sitting in. This room had been made to be comfortable and warm, inviting. But now it only held coldness and a feeling of dread, death and decay. Joyce lifted a finger to her cheek and wiped away a tear. She wondered for a second how long it would take her to cry herself dry.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Summers." Angel breathed, lifting his head only slightly from his hands. His face was white, eyes a sharp red.

"Oh Angel," She whispered, and though it was almost inaudible, his vampire senses heard it without effort. She sat beside him on the couch and put a hand that tried to be comforting on his shoulder. "She loved you, she loved you so much."

Angel responded by choking out a sob and then shaking his head back and forth rapidly, face in his hands again, and then rocking back and forth in his seat. "It's all my fault." He moaned. "It's all my fault."

"Now Angel," Giles protested. "I know you're feeling guilty, it's only natural. But you cannot go beating yourself up over this. It is not your fault. You didn't send her to her death." He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's clearly mine."

"Yours?" Joyce asked looking confused.

"Yes, it is my fault."

"No," Angel looked at Giles almost angrily. "You weren't the one who let her go out there alone. I offered to walk her home, she didn't want me to. If I were any good to her – as good as she thought I am… was – then I would have walked her, followed her even. I could have saved her." He sobbed again.

"You aren't the reason that her powers are gone." Giles' eyes filled with hatred. Towards himself, towards the council, the vampires and the demons, everything that had ever posed as a threat to her. Himself, especially himself.

"What do you mean?" Angel breathed.

When they all reached their warm beds, their pillows welcomed them with open arms. First Willow and Xander, then Joyce, Angel, and eventually Giles made their way under the blankets. Tears met their pillows in a warm fluid stream that seemed as it would never end, before exhaustion finally took them into a dreamless sleep. Every last one of them feeling heavy and surreal.


	4. CH 3

She just sat, there staring at the ground in front of her, toying with the grass beside the empty soil that hadn't the chance to grow anything since the burial. Her shoulder brushed along the hedge stone, cold and gray beside her, with her name carved tauntingly into it. But she didn't dare look at it. No, looking at it would only make it harder. More difficult to understand, and just that much more terrifying to believe. It broke Spike's heart to see the slayer like this. Well, not really the slayer any more. And how would that go over? Everything she'd ever know, all she was taught to believe had been thrown back in her face all at once. And who was she to turn to? There was no one. She hadn't returned to her poor distraught mother who didn't know about Vampires at all. And she most definitely hadn't returned to her friends. They'd never understand, never accept her like this. She knew that. Things would have to be different now. Buffy had Angel though; a man – Vampire – who loved her, and wanted nothing more than to help her.

Spike was there for her, even if she didn't want him to be. Even if he didn't want to be. He didn't have a choice. Seeing the pain in her eyes anguished him as if he still had his soul. There as just something about the way she looked at him when he and Angel had found her, the way she seemed to know what he saw in her. Not a demon, but a lost little girl who just wanted to be held, and helped, and to exist. Angel saw his girl, who could be with him forever now that she'd changed. But that isn't what she'd ever wanted. She wanted to be human, stay human forever. Her job was her reason for existing, and that job was to slay the being that she now was. It couldn't go over well with her now dead heart.

And most of all Spike knew the way it felt. He had first hand experience with crawling out of his own grave, and he knew that that is what Buffy had done.

"Buffy," he called out to her softly, and her head shot up as if she hadn't known he was there. She looked almost frightened, but he couldn't understand why. He smiled sadly at her. "Come on then pet, let's get you fixed up." He put out his hand to her, which she hesitated to take. If he was going to kill her, what difference would it make? Nothing could be worse than this undead life ahead of her.

He led her slowly through the cemetery to his crypt, and quietly opened the door for her, and held it open as she passed through. She stopped a few paces in front of him, and turned her head slightly towards him, back still turned. Sighing, he put his hand on her lower back and guided her towards the couch. She sat automatically and looked up at him. Tears seemed to be stirring in Buffy's eyes, and this made Spike feel even more distressed.

"Have you fed yet?" He asked trying to sound casual. She shook her head which he almost didn't see. This was going to be difficult, getting blood into an undead slayer. But he had to try, she couldn't live – exist – without it. Pouring some of the thick red liquid into a mug, he gently put it into her hands.

Buffy stared at the alien looking thing in her hands before turning her attention back to Spike. "You're not going to kill me?" She whispered. He just smiled slightly down to her and didn't answer. He didn't know. He knew he _should _kill her; after all, they were sworn enemies. But he couldn't. Not now that he'd seen her at her worst, she was just like him now. Well, except for some features. But basically the same. "Why are you helping me?" She said just as quietly.

"I can't tell you that pet, can't explain." He didn't look away from her for a second. Even in her filthy, dead, tear stained form, she was still quite a site. Her tangled dirty hair framed her face just perfectly, and her pretty white gown that was now covered in a thick layer of mud and was torn in almost every way possible, still complimented her perfectly.

"I wish you'd try." She looked at the blood again. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Spike seemed to understand this, and so sat down beside her at lifted her hand gently with his, moving the mug closer to her mouth. Her lip trembled and a shaken breath came out of it, but she let the chilled fluid pass her lips. She gagged on it a little, and the mug slipped out of her hand, Spike was ready though and caught it just inches from where her hand had been holding it. No blood had been spared.

"It'll get easier." He said brushing her hair out of her face. She her eyes bore into his, and for the first time he realized that he could never see the true extent of her pain. He would never know just how much was lying beneath the surface, trying to break free. It was probably too much for her tiny body. How she'd not exploded as of yet was a mystery.

"Spike," She whispered closing her eyes when tears began to escape. She pressed her lips together into a thin line and let him pull her against him.

He shushed and cooed her gently, rubbing her arm. He took the mug from her hands and set it down beside him. He'd try again later.

"Listen," He started. "I know what it's like, losing everything. Climbing out of your grave and being alone, not knowing what world you're in. And I know you're in way over your head." She held her breath now, letting his words play around in her head. "But it isn't as bad as you think."

She pulled away from him abruptly, distrust and disgusted filling her every detail. "You'll never understand." Her voice trembled.

Spike put up his hands in surrender, and stepped back his speech of encouragement a bit. "'S not what I meant Buffy." He looked at her seriously for a second until she relaxed. "I meant that your family is still there for you. Your mother will greet you back with open arms, and you're friends will be there until the end." She squeezed her eyes shut and begged him to stop talking. He was killing her. Not with a stake, but by playing every horrible emotion that she'd been feeling just right.

"Don't," She pleaded desperately. "You know I can't." Buffy didn't open her eyes.

Sighing in frustration with himself, he hesitantly put his arm on her shoulder farthest from him, and carefully pulled her back to him. She accepted the gesture, and briefly wondered when his warmness would end and when he would kill her. He sat on edge, muscles tensed, and near the edge of his seat. He wasn't sure what he was dealing with. Either a new fledgling in need of a master vamp's comfort, or a much shaken slayer who still wanted to rip his head off. But she seemed content enough. They sat like that for a while. Just feeling each other. He found that he might need her just as much as she seemed to need him. Still lost without Drusilla, Spike found her touch comforting.


	5. CH 4

When Angel awoke at sunset, he was alone in bed. Confused, he sat up and scanned the room for Buffy. Where'd she gotten to?

Perhaps the whole thing had been a dream. He frowned deeply when he realized it was probably true. But no, that was her scent on his pillow. She had definitely been there.

He tried to piece together the puzzle that was last night, trying to find where he'd gone wrong. He must have done something to drive the slayer away. But what? He thought back to when he'd found Buffy.

_Angel walked to the cemetery with a bunch of white flowers in his hand and one red rose in the mix. They were for Buffy. He'd give them to her before he left. There was no point in staying any where near Sunnydale now. He'd only come here in the first place to be with her. But seen as that wasn't an option any more…_

_He made his way around the many twists and bends of the grave yard, around the many hedge stones and the mausoleum. He wasn't alone. A tall man was standing in front of Buffy's grave, and he knew it to be Spike the moment he laid eyes on him._

"_Spike," he hissed across the row of gray stones before him. "What the hell are you doing here?" If looks could kill, Spike would have been dust ten times over._

"_Just here to pay my final respects." Spike grinned cruelly to Angel, making him loose his head. Angel started towards Spike and Spike prepared for the fight of his life. But a strange noise stopped them both in their tracks. Some sort of scratching sound filled the air. Like a little badger or something was clawing through ground._

_They both jumped back when the dirt that was Buffy's grave began to move. At first only a couple grains of the dark soil moved out of place. And then the ground began to crack and rise as a hand reached out into the cold night air._

"_What the?" Angel flew forward and grabbed the hand, tearing the girl out of the dirt. Buffy dropped to her hands and knees gasping for air, and then looked up at the two horrified men staring at her._

_Her eyes were a magnificent yellow, and her fangs were the perfect points of a new fledgling._

"_Buffy…" Angel felt himself go numb. Buffy was a vampire. But how? The vampire from a few nights ago had finished her off. He was sure of it! But of course, they hadn't really thought to check._

_Her hands immediately went to her face. Her forehead first, and then her teeth. She gasped in horror at what she found, and then broke down into uncontrollable sobs. She shook terribly. Angel wanted to reach out and pull her to him, but he was too numb, to confused at what had happened to really take in the situation._

_It angered Angel when it was Spike to be the comforting one. It seemed he took pity on her, sympathizing for the creature before him. And that was exactly it. The whole reason that Spike hadn't fallen into a life time of heavy laughter, was because he understood. Or, he understood more than Angel must have anyway. This wasn't supposed to happen to her… Sure he'd wanted to kill her. Hell he would stake her right then if he'd had a stake on him. But the slayer was never supposed to be a vampire. She was never supposed to go through any of what she'd be going through for the next however long the next slayer would let her live. Buffy was supposed to have a normal life, have normal friends, get married and have kids. And then die like the rest of the humans and go off to heaven. But she'd been taken away from whatever chance at normal she'd ever find, and got stuck slaying demons and vampires. And yet, here she was, a million miles from heaven and on a one shot road to hell. He could only imagine how it must feel. But yet she wasn't alone. She still had her friends and family, her watcher and her boyfriend. But they would die eventually… And they might not even accept her back._

_Spike went up to her quickly and dropped to the ground beside her, pulling him into his arms. "Shh, it'll be alright Buffy. It'll be alright." He stroked her hair, and didn't even think to smirk at Angel when she grabbed onto his shirt and pulled herself against him. So this was the Buffy that Angel knew. She was a lot different than the Buffy that Spike had always known. He could get used to a girl like her…_

_Angel gave up on his numbness for the time being, and pushed Spike away from Buffy. "Get away from her." He shouted, and picked her up in his arms._

"_Angel," She moaned wrapping her arms around him._

"_I'm here Buffy." He kissed her forehead and pleaded the powers that be to let her stop crying. He couldn't help her while she was like this._

_Angel left Spike standing in the graveyard and carried Buffy back to the mansion. He laid her down on the bed, not even thinking about her being covered in dirt and mud. She was still in her pretty white gown from the funeral. Still in perfect condition, minus the being covered in soil part._

_He lay down beside her, and pulled her half on top of him and just held her there. He felt his own emotion starting to brew inside of him. But it wasn't like the desperate fear she felt. It was a longing of absolute happiness. His Buffy hadn't died. She was still with him. She'd come back to him. And they could be together always._

So he definitely found a few things he could have done a little better. But they all seemed so minor at the time. Like letting Spike make the first move to comfort her. They were enemies! And yet he'd been more comforting to Buffy than her own boyfriend. He should have been there first. He could have been the one pulling her into his arms and promising her that everything was all right. He was the one who loved her, and yet he just stood there staring. And Spike, the Spike who hated her and wanted her dead since the dawn of time, was the one who was holding her when she found herself in front of her grave, with a demon inside her and fangs on the outside.

Angel felt a fool. She'd probably have run off by now. Either to _him, _or to her home, or to find a stake. Either way could prove deadly. He didn't bother grabbing a new shirt. He just went straight out the door, slamming it harshly behind him. He'd check the crypt first. No point in showing up at Joyce' home asking if she'd seen her deceased daughter around. He was sure that wouldn't go over well.


	6. CH 5

The incredibly bad day Willow was having at school was about to get a million times worse. Principle Snyder had asked her to show the new girl around. Giles had filled Willow in about her, and it was really quite remarkable that the principle had asked her of all people to help this new girl out. The new girl Faith was the new slayer. Since Buffy died, a new slayer had been chosen.

Willow checked her watch again, and then looked around the school yard. She noticed Xander pull into the parking lot in his new convertible, and feverishly waved him over.

"Xander, hey!" She called to him as he made his way up the steps to the school. He was wearing his usual Hawaii style floral shirt with khaki pants.

"Hey Will," he said nodding his head, a ghost of a smile spreading across his face. "Weren't you supposed to be showing someone around?"

"Yeah," She pointed to her watch. "Faith was supposed to meet me here twenty minutes ago." She complained.

Xander was looking far off to the right, gawking at something. Willow looked to see what the sight was, and felt her own surprise when she saw the girl who was strutting towards them. Long wavy brown hair sprayed around her face matching dark brown eyes spectacularly. A black leather jacket was pulled tightly around her, zipped at the bottom and open the rest of the way up. Black jeans and a red t shirt completed the bad girl look effectively.

"Um, hi!" Willow smiled as the girl approached them. "You must be Faith!" The girl looked boredly at her. Willow became quieter in her discomfort, "I think."

"Yeah I'm Faith." The girl replied, chewing arrogantly on her gum. She nodded her head towards the red headed girl, "You're Willow." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I'm Willow, and this is Xander." She gestured to Xander hopefully.

"Hi," He said, still ogling over the girl.

She smiled a cocky grin and nodded her head at him in greeting. "So you're gonna show me around?" She turned her attention back to Willow."

"Yeah, I am." Willow nodded sheepishly and began to lead the way.

The made their way through the various twists and turns of the high school, with Willow pointing out important things like the front office, the cafeteria, Faith's locker, and then the library. Along the way Faith quickly lost the little attention she'd had for Willow and began checking out the male teenagers who responded eagerly with eyes of their own. Faith seemed to make an impression everywhere she went, turning eyes of young boys, envious girls, and even some nervous looking teachers. By the time they made it to her first period class guys were lining up left right and center to get a good look at the new girl.

"Buffy," Spike said tugging on the young girls arm. "You have to feed, this isn't healthy pet." The former slayer was laying face down on Spike's bed, face buried in a pillow and tuning out the master vamp very intentionally. Frustrated, he pulled harder, sliding her towards the edge of the bed. "Buffy come on!" His aggravated tone reached her.

"Can we just get a pizza?" She begged with her face still in the pillow.

Spike sighed. "Listen pet, you _know _you can't live off pizza. You _need _to drink blood." At the end of his thin line of patience, he pulled hard on her shoulder and flipped her over in the bed to face him. Her face was patterned with red lines from the pillow, and deep circles had formed beneath her eyes.

"I can't," She said sadly, staring intensely into his eyes.

Spike took her hand and lead her up into the main crypt, and sat her down in a chair while he went to warm up two mugs of blood. _Not like she can escape, _he though. _Bright as the sun out there. _It was true; this day in particular had been the brightest he'd ever experienced in Sunnydale. He had started steaming just from standing by the door of the crypt. Not exactly ideal weather for a vampire.

When the blood was as warm as it would get, he carried the mugs over to where Buffy sat, and handed one to her. He sat in a chair across the room and watched her. She looked at the mug for a few seconds, deciding whether she could stomach it or not, and then she looked at him. She was surprised to see him staring right back at her.

"Shouldn't we be asleep right now?" She asked. Her sudden question took him by surprise and he found that he couldn't answer. "I mean, don't vampires usually sleep during the day?" She swirled the blood around in the mug, grimacing at it.

He didn't respond for a second, and then grinned at his own mug and took a swig. "Yeah, but I do recall someone sleeping all night." He smiled warmly at her and she nodded.

She grimaced again at the thick slimy blood, and then decided to drink it like she took her medicine when she was a child. As a little girl her mother had always held her hand when she had to take yucky tasting medicine, or her mother would have to call her father in to hold her down while they forced the drug into her. She learned to take it the easy way. Climbing out of the chair she walked across the stone room to Spike who watched her curiously. He was in awe when she pushed his arms away from his torso and climbed into his lap, careful not to spill the syrupy liquid on him. She pulled his free hand into her lap while he remained motionless, staring at her dumbfounded. She grimaced once more at the stomach turning pig's blood, and then chugged the full mug of warm red salt down.

When she'd finished the last drop, she pulled her head away from the porcelain cup and squeezed her eyes shut. Spike took the mug from her and set it on the floor with his, and then stroked his hand up her arm. Without opening her eyes, she loosened the painful grip she had on his hand – how she hadn't broken his fingers already wasn't clear to her – and turned her head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her impulsively, and tucked her head beneath his chin.

"That's my girl," he said as he made small circles on her back with his hand. _My girl? That's a new one. _He thought to himself.

She drew a tense breath, and then pulled herself up, and looked shyly into his penetrating eyes. "I'm sorry." She muttered. She hadn't stopped to think that he might not want her there. He'd just been so kind to her that she'd wanted to be close to him.

He chuckled and stroked her hair, pulling her head back down to him. "S'alright pet, I understand."

She was so glad to have him hold her – to want to hold her – that it was confusing. _What would Angel say…_ She wondered and her smile disappeared abruptly. But she found that she couldn't bring herself to break the contact with the blonde man.

She made swirly patterns on the back of his hand with her index finger, brushing her nail across his skin. Her touch left a burning path, and Spike felt as if he might set fire at the simplest brush of her skin against his.

"Mr. Giles speaking," Giles said into the phone in the library.

"_Giles, this is Angel." _The voice on the other end said coldly.

"Yes, hello." Giles didn't have time to deal with Angel then. Of course he felt sorry for the poor lad who'd lost his only love, but he had to deal with Faith. The council had decided to put her in his responsibility, and the job had proved harder and harder by the hour. It was still her first day of school there, and she'd already missed two classes. She'd gone to first, but after that she'd disappeared.

"_Giles Buffy's back, she's a vampire. But she's gone, she's been gone for hours and I don't know where she went or if she's ok"_

Giles cut off Angel's hopeless rambling. "Angel, I'm sorry but I don't understand. Who's missing?" _Please don't have said who I think you said,_ Giles pleaded the powers that be for his ears to have been playing tricks on him.

"_Giles, Buffy is back." _His voice sounded strangled.

If what Angel was saying were true, then Buffy could have been anywhere, dust now from the afternoon sunlight. "I'll find her Angel, don't worry." He hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket. _Don't worry,_ he humored himself with the thought of worrying about whether she was dust or not, when there were clearly more important matters on the subject. There was an ex slayer turned vampire running around Sunnydale, who knew if she were killing? Giles prayed he could get her soul anchored to her, to save the girl who felt like a daughter to him. Half of him was whispering for him to stake her, and the other was shouting to find her and get her hidden from the evils that could harm her. He'd decide on what to do when he found her.


	7. CH 6

Giles' left without word to anyone. He needed to find the slayer before she got hurt, or hurt anyone else. And he couldn't let the other's know she was alive. Not if it meant she would be… That he might have to… But could he do it? Could he really stake her? The girl that had been like a daughter to him, his Buffy, who he was the reason she had left the world. Could he really bring himself to do it? Perhaps – being a former slayer – she might have a soul? He knew it was ridiculous to think so, and tormenting in the long run, but he couldn't help but hope. Besides, he might not even have to make the decision. Being day time, she could have already been… He couldn't bring himself to think the last. All he new was that he wanted to find her; make it up to her somehow. Or perhaps it was best if he didn't find her. Not know if she were dust from the light – or otherwise – or run away from Sunnydale. He knew she couldn't stay there. Too many people knew her, knew she had died, been to her funeral, and mourned her. If she turned up at the Bronze one day, it would no doubt raise suspicion, not to mention wide spread panic.

He silently punished himself about the events leading up to her death. Every slayer had to take that test. The one where when they turned eighteen – if they lived that long – they had to fight a vampire without their slayer powers. Catch, they wouldn't know why they had lost their powers. Only feel the fear of being in the world, unprotected from all of the things that go bump in the night, completely vulnerable. The council had sent him the package, the one that contained the drug, the syringe, and left him to do the rest. He hypnotized her, and then while under the spell, he injected the drug that would end her into her arm.

She had been afraid of course, frustrated, angry. But he wouldn't tell her why. He wouldn't explain to her the reasons as to which she would be so scared and alone. Perhaps after she completed the test. But of course, there was no guarantee that she would.

The vampire that she was supposed to fight had escaped, turned a man – a minion – and then gone after her. She didn't fight, instead she tried to run, screaming and pleading for help. Perhaps it was her own stubbornness that killed her, not letting Angel stay with her. Perhaps it wasn't her lack of training. It didn't matter; the vampire had her before Giles could arrive to rescue her. And by then it was too late. He'd found her there, dead as she could be. Or maybe not so much. He hadn't thought to check to see if he'd turned her. He only mourned her in utter wretchedness. His poor slayer, his poor little girl. She had trusted him, with her life, her thoughts and emotions, with her body in training and in the fight. He'd betrayed her.

Possibly it was payback from the universe, her being a vampire. It seemed punishment enough.

It seemed uncanny that his search for her lead him to the graveyard. It was only common sense really, where else would he look for a lost vampire? This is where she would have risen, but not likely where she would have stayed. If anything he should have been asking around for a girl of her description. But in the graveyard he was. And eerie as it was that he had chosen this place, in was even more so that he had stopped in front of Spike's crypt. The sworn enemy of he and the slayer would be only too humored at the verity of the slayer turned vampire. And yet, there he was.

It was worth a shot, see if he'd noticed anything. The least that could happen was Spike would have not seen anything, and Giles would stake him before he could find her first. It seemed reasonable enough. He took two steps towards the door of the crypt, and made to push the door open. Then he cursed audibly when he realized he hadn't a weapon on him. The stake still locked up in the weapons chest, a long with his crosses, holy water, and other various demon killing machines. He turned around angrily and began his march back to where he had just left.

Inside the library, the phone was ringing and Willow, Xander, and Cordelia were positioned around it trying to decide whether they should answer or not. Giles stepped in the before they could and picked up the receiver quickly.

"Hello?" He said into the phone.

"_Giles, it's me." _Angel said.

"Oh hello Angel." The group of students stared at Giles shocked.

"_I have some information that might be helpful…" _He sounded choked.

Giles wondered for a second whether he wanted to hear it, but decided it best if he did. "What is it?" He said in a voice void of all emotion.

"_She was with Spike." _He said just as coldly.

_With Spike? _It couldn't be true, the slayer hated Spike, sworn enemies they were. That couldn't have changed since she'd died could it have?

"Thank you Angel." He dropped the receiver, realizing what had brought him to the crypt.

"What was that about?" Willow asked sadly. She didn't like hearing about her deceased best friend's boyfriend. Used to be boyfriend, not boyfriend anymore.

"Just had some information for me is all." He didn't look at them, but they all knew what that meant.

"Buffy's…" Cordelia looked at Giles nervously. "She's a vampire isn't she." She already knew that answer, she just needed the confirmation.

Giles ignored her and after grabbing a stake he left.

"He's not going to stake her is he?" Willow's voice rising in pitch.

"Well doesn't he have to? I mean, slayer or not she's still a vampire. Just like Jessie." She looked at them sadly.


	8. CH 7

"Cordelia," Willow said hesitantly after Giles moved to the back of the library. The brunette girl looked up to her form her seat at the round wooden table expectantly. "How did you know that Buffy was a vampire?"

"Oh, you know," her face was morose, showing every sign of sympathy that her body could hold for the poor fledgling and her friends. "Buffy was killed by a vampire, and then all of a sudden Angel had some information. I just thought that it was kind of strange how just yesterday he was locked up in his room not talking to anyone, and then today he was all part of the action." She looked into the somewhat stunned faces of Willow and Xander. "What?" They continued to stare. "What?"

"Sorry, it's just…" Xander gapped at her. "Wow Cordi, we didn't even figure that out. And _you_. Well…"

Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest and slumped back against the back of the chair.

Giles came back into view after a very silent moment between the three and sat down across from Cordelia and motioned for Willow and Xander to sit as well. "I have some rather unfortunate news." He fixed his glasses on his nose and then turned to face them. "It seems that Buffy - instead of coming to us or Angel - has gone to Spike for his assistance." He didn't look directly at them; rather, he looked into the center of the table.

"So what does that mean?" Cordelia sat up and squared her shoulders. "We know where Buffy is then right? We can go find her." She looked into each of their pessimistic faces and realized the wrong in her words.

"If Buffy has gone to Spike," Giles said slowly. "It would probably mean it was because she wanted to die." It was silent once again around the table. No one wanted to speak. No one knew what to say. Unspoken condolences were passed between them, and they felt the depression of losing her friend all over again. Willow broke down into tears, falling into Xander's arms as he stroked her hair, and held back tears of his own. Cordelia held her hands together in her lap and looked down at them, unsure of what she felt. "I would think that being the slayer, being turned would have proven too much for her. I suppose it is my fault. I should have seen the signs, checked at least that he might have turned her. But I…" He shook his head miserably.

"Oh Giles," Willow soothed, taking his arm. "You can't blame yourself. Buffy's a big girl, and she did the right thing for her." Giles squeezed her arm and then moved back to the counter.

Dialing the phone, Giles held the receiver a little ways away from his ear while it rang.

"_Hello?" _The voice on the other end asked. _"Giles?"_

"Yes Angel it's me." Giles removed his glasses. "I was just wondering if you had any other information for us, anything that might help." If Buffy had gone to Spike, there could still be a chance that she was alive. As much as he knew it would hurt them all that much more when they found out that he had in fact killed her, he knew that he couldn't let his slayer go on living her undead life without her watcher trying to help her.

"_I don't know Giles; I think she might go home. She left here in the middle of the night. Spike was being really nice to her when we found her though. So I don't think we have to worry about him too much."_

"He was being _kind _to her? Please Angel, explain." He twirled his glasses in between his fingers and listened hard.

"_He held her, and he told her she would be ok. I don't know what it was all about but it seemed pretty strange for Spike. You'd think they were old friends. It was sick really."_

"Yes, yes I would presume so." He put his glasses back on his face. "I'll be checking the crypt then, good bye." He hung up the phone and made his way towards his jacket. "I'll be back soon, everyone stay where I can find you." He was out the door before they could respond.

Buffy sat cross legged on the bed in the lower area of Spike's crypt. Spike was robotically changing into a pair of sweats, that Buffy would never have guessed him to own. They were loose and light grey, unlike the usual tight black jeans he wore. She didn't realize she was staring until he chuckled.

"See something you like pet?" He grinned at her when she blushed and looked away.

"I just… Never expected to see the Big Bad in sweatpants." She explained.

He laughed out loud, "Understood pet." He sprawled out beside her on the bed, leaning his head on his hand that was supported by his elbow. One knee bent towards the ceiling while the other was straight and the mattress.

"Spike?" She said suddenly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He looked at her, waiting for her to say something. "When I was with Angel, I had this nightmare that I was back inside the coffin, and I couldn't get out." She didn't know why she was telling him about her dream, but she noticed that he listened intently to her. "It was terrifying, it seemed so real. Like when I first woke up." She shrugged and decided to leave it there. She didn't know where she was going with it; it just seemed to slip out of her mouth.

Spike wrapped a lazy arm around her waist. "Maybe Angel couldn't keep the bad dreams away love, but I'm scarier than any little night beastie out there. I'll keep the dreams away." He squeezed her gently, shocked when his undead heart gave a sudden lurch.

Buffy leaned down beside him, propped up on her elbow, and brushed his cheek with her free hand. "Thank you," she mouthed and he closed his eyes contentedly. So this would be his new life. He'd take it. It was better than being alone and miserable. It was much, much better.

Eventually she snuggled down beside him and he did the same. There they slept, finally tired out from the stress of the day, with his arm still around her waist, and his head resting on her shoulder. Her arm was draped around his middle, tucked beneath his arm at his side.

When Giles snuck into the crypt, stake in hand, he saw the emptiness of it. The furniture was dark in contrast with the lightless night, and the candles had been blown out. The trap door was open though, and when he jumped cautiously through it – tentatively like jumping into a pool for the first time – he had to throw his hand over top his mouth to stop himself from crying out. There she was, his precious slayer, wrapped around their once arch nemesis like new lovers. He didn't have time to think, before he realized what he was doing, he found himself scrambling out of the crypt and pressing his back to the door panting. _Angel has to know, he must, why else would he have sent me? No, no he can't know, otherwise he would have gone himself. _His lip trembled slightly as he looked out into the night, noticing the shadow of another man leaning against one of the tombstones.

"I just came to see for myself." Angel shrugged at him.


	9. CH 8

"Spike?" Buffy questioned the darkness, sitting up in bed. She let her demon show, peering into the night with vampire's vision.

"Mm?" He questioned her without stirring.

"Do you smell that?" She waited while he sniffed the air tiredly, and then opened his eyes and joined her in sitting.

"Someone's been here." He said throwing his legs out of bed. Realizing that they were alone, no pulse in the house let him know that the human was long gone, he relaxed again into the bed. "Gone now love, no worries." He put his arms comfortably behind his head and shut his eyes.

"No worries?" She said astonished. "Someone that probably had a stake was just hanging over our bed watching us sleep, and you say no worries?" She didn't realize that she had called his bed 'ours', but he did.

"No love, I'm not. Not worried at all." He put his hand through the hair at the back of her head, and leaned closer to her. "No one is going to hurt you if I'm here. I'm not worried about you at all."

Without knowing what she was doing, she had her lips pressed to his, and he was kissing her back. He pulled her against him and deepened the kiss before a sound upstairs caught their attention abruptly. Their visitor was back, and he'd brought company. Spike hissed at the scent of his grand sire. He was with a human. Most likely one of the scoobies, the scent was familiar enough. He looked around the room quickly, wondering if he should hide the girl, but presumed that she would chose to go with her boyfriend. Remembering the relationship she'd left behind in her death sickened him. He'd forgotten her strong love for Angel. But she seemed to like him enough now. Maybe it would be enough. Finding himself thinking about the matter shocked him enough that when Angel jumped through the trapdoor he caught Spike off guard and flung him into the opposite wall. Giles was quickly behind him.

"Buffy," Angel sighed and moved over to where she was still on the bed, to stunned to have moved. "Thank god," he pulled her into his arms, not caring that she didn't respond to him.

Giles stared at her, feeling dawn break across his face. He knew he shouldn't be happy about the undeadness of his slayer, but the overwhelming being happy that she wasn't dead shook any thought of 'Buffy the vampire vampire slayer' out of his head. Soon he found that he too, was holding her.

Buffy shook them off quickly though, tearfully, and helped Spike up from the floor by the arm. Noticing the half tug she gave towards Giles, Spike decided quickly to restrain her from him. Of course she wouldn't hurt the watcher – if she retained her soul – but she also seemed thirsty enough. Actually, in the intense occurrences of the past few days, both male vampires had neglected to check to see if she had kept her soul. If she hadn't, it meant death for Giles – not that Spike cared. If she attacked him, she most likely wouldn't regret it in the morning. It would only mean she didn't have a soul. At the thought, he removed his hold from her, waiting to see how the test played out. She looked at him nervously, green eyes having returned, and mouthed to him, "I'm thirsty," and pleaded him with an almost sad look.

Understanding perfectly, he took her hand and led her up to the main crypt, to be followed quickly by the other two suddenly angry men. He reached for a blood bag, and warmed it up slightly before pouring it into a dark mug and handing it to her. She decided to take it like last time; she still wasn't able to suck it down properly. It would be never and a day before she'd enjoy the taste. She held his arm, pleased when he wrapped it around her, and stood close to him before taking a small sip and screwing up her face in disgust.

"Ugh," she looked into the mug. "How can you stand it?" She took another short sip.

Spike chuckled. "It's an acquired taste love." He kissed the top of her head, still smiling. Her dead heart gave a lurch when she felt his lips touch her.

"Spike, what are you doing?"Angel growled from across the room.

"Taking care of what you didn't." He taunted, looking tyrannically at his foe.

Giles felt a fight coming on, and stepped in quickly to keep himself and Buffy out of the violence. "Buffy, can we please talk?" He put out his hand to her, and she accepted it gratefully, letting him lead her out into the night.

Both Spike and Angel became anxious for her when the door closed, neither wanted find a pile of dust when they exited, but couldn't decide if the watcher really had it in them. A silent truce passed between them as they made their way outside to find Buffy in the arms of her father figure, tears streaming down both their faces.

"Buffy I'm so sorry," Giles whispered hoarsely. "This is my entire fault." He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes.

"No Giles, it was my stupid missing slayer strength." She said reassuringly. She didn't want him to beat himself up over an accident.

"No Buffy, I'm the reason you didn't have your strength." She pulled away from him, not understanding, not wanting to. "Please, let me explain." He told her quickly about the test, the needle, the council's orders, everything. With each passing second, his words stabbed her like knives and each one carved a new scar.

Game face came forward, and she snarled viciously at him. "You," she growled accusingly. "Did this to me." She went to punch him but her flying fist was caught by Angel's, holding her back. He yanked her away from Giles, and she fell back onto Spike who caught her quickly.

"Don't touch her!" Angel tried to snatch her away but she kicked at his hand.

"Why are you helping him?" She growled to her boyfriend. "After all he did."

"Buffy he's still human; he only did what he had to do." Angel stood up for the librarian like they were old friends rather than being rough acquaintances.

Feeling her stress building, Spike knew she had her soul and gathered her in his embrace and pulled her back into the crypt with him. _Of course she has a soul,_ he thought bitterly. _Slayer turned vampire, self righteous bint. How could she not? _He held her tight, letting her cry against him again. He wouldn't let anything hurt her. He would do his absolute best to keep the two vultures away from the two of them. The scoobies would leave Buffy alone, and they would leave the two of them be.

"It's true." Giles slammed open the door to the library, and he and Angel strode in irately. "She's with Spike." The heated glares that were identical on both their faces made the teens nervous.

"Is she ok though?" Willow asked. _Well of course not stupid, she's a vampire. _"I mean, is she still aliveish?"

Xander wrapped his arm around her while they waited for their answer.

"Yes, and she wants to be with Spike." Angel spat.

"Oh Angel, I'm so sorry, I mean, I'm sure it's just a thing, I mean, it's only because, you know." Willow's attempt to help the beautiful broody vampire failed miserably when she couldn't find any words that made sense together.

"So what do we do?" Cordelia asked. "I mean, we have to do something right? Right?"

"Well I suppose, we need to see if she's still willing to fight the good fight, and if she isn't, I mean, if she is hurting humans, we have to do our job." They all looked at one another painfully.

"But she's Buffy," Xander looked incredulous. "Of course she isn't hurting humans. She still has a soul right? She hasn't hurt anyone yet?"

"Yet-" Giles repeated. "Is exactly the word that brings us to our current situation." He took off his glasses to clean them, but didn't put them back on his face. He stared out the high library window and frowned to the clouds.


	10. CH 9

"Wait, this is so _wrong!"_ Willow blurted out, covering her ears childishly against the onslaught of words. "Buffy would _never _be ok with Spike. _Never!_" She insisted. It didn't make sense to her that Buffy, _her _Buffy, would have chosen Spike over Angel. It just seemed so impossible! _I mean, one minute they're madly in love, and the next _poof _no more love for Angel. Not that Angel never did the same thing to her… Hey, maybe it's the same with her. Vampire Buffy likes Spike, just like Angelus didn't like Buffy. Maybe…_

"Willow's right, this just doesn't make any sense." Xander shook his head incomprehensibly at the watcher. "Buffy hates Spike! And even more, Spike hates Buffy! Why hasn't he killed her yet? She must have been vulnerable enough." The shock from the situation still had Xander in a somewhat comfortable high; the rest of his emotions had yet to set in.

"No it makes perfect sense really." Giles took off his glasses and hung them loosely off one of his fingers. "If Buffy doesn't have a soul, it would only make sense that she would seek company in Spike, and it would only makes sense that Spike would look after her. After all, who knows what kind of power a slayer turned vampire might have? It has never happened before." He returned his glasses to the bridge of his nose.

"And if she does still have a soul?" Cordelia questioned, eye brows raised.

"Of course she still has a soul," Angel rolled his eyes. "She's _Buffy."_

There was truth in that, how could a slayer lose her soul? It just wasn't in the pages. There must have been another reason for the sudden truce.

"Angel," Giles twirled his finger in the air absent mindedly. "Try to get Buffy back, as soon as possible." He looked up and nodded at the suddenly very young looking souled vampire before him. Pain evident on his face, making him look like a small child, vulnerable to anything.

"But wait," Cordelia looked around at the group hesitantly. "I mean, what if Buffy has her soul… And she _wants _to be with him?" It was the question no one had dared ask. And the one no one dared answer.

"Then we'll see." Giles didn't look at her when he replied quietly. The group silently dispersed in opposite directions.

In the hallway, Willow and Xander walked towards the front doors, Cordelia would be out soon to drive them home. Looking at one another, and then nodding in silent agreement, they took a running start towards the graveyard. If Buffy was back, they had to see her for themselves. Maybe they could talk some sense into her? Hell, maybe she could talk some sense into them!

Before they reached the cemetery though, a sight stopped them in their steps almost as if by magic. And what a sight it was! Standing not to far off was their Buffy, looking as normal as ever, happy even, as if nothing had happened at all. In a very comical relief, Willow and Xander shared a smile before continuing their approach when another sight stopped them again.

Spike turned around the corner, nearing Buffy, but she didn't run, she didn't stand her ground, didn't take up a defensive pose. No, she smiled brightly at him, welcoming him towards her with her hand which he took with a returning smile just as warm. She stood up on her tip toes and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. Xander felt his mouth fall open. This was definitely not Buffy. Something was wrong with her. Something… Weird.

Willow couldn't hold herself any longer, "Buffy!" She cried out, her hand stretching over her head in her signature happy wave. She bounced toward the blonde arms outstretched for her. Spike wasn't sure though, he stiffened and eyed the girl wearily. She didn't seem to be holding a weapon – not that he and the slayer… ex slayer couldn't take her – but he was weary of anyone approaching his slayer at any speed no matter who they were. "Buffy!" Willow finally reached her friend, and pulled her tightly into her arms. Buffy held her back, much to Spike's wonder. The two girls clung to each other having desperately missed each other's company. When Xander caught up, he couldn't find his voice, so instead he blinked back his tears and joined the group hug.

After a long embrace – and awkward standing on Spike's part – the trio broke away from each other, though not moving too far a part. "So Buffy," Willow smiled with all the happiness in the world. Not that she should have been happy with what she had just witnessed, she was just so happy to have her friend back that she felt she would be ok with anything. "You and Spike are like a thing now huh?" She glanced between the two, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Buffy blushed and felt for Spike's hand, which he lent her graciously. She honestly didn't know what to say. _We've had some serious make out sessions, and he's holding my hand… But I never really broke it off with Angel did I? Do I _want _to break it off with Angel? _Her thoughts became a mixture of confusion, and that bothered Spike beyond comfort. He began to feel as though he were just convenient. But Buffy quickly put him back in line.

"I guess we kinda are." She felt just as shocked saying it as the rest heard hearing it.

"Wow," Willow squealed, still not sure why she was so happy. Perhaps the fear and disappointment would set in tomorrow. "So, do you still have your soul?" She chirped nervously.

"Well yeah," Buffy made a face that clearly read "understatement of the millennia". "I mean, hello, I _am _the slayer – even if I'm not so slayery anymore." She subconsciously looked over her arms, which she'd outstretched. She looked human, felt like the slayer, looked like Buffy, but there was that part of her that thirsted for blood, wanted to kill, and hadn't she been killing people just like her a few days ago? _Oh my god, I just referred to vampires as people. _She thought randomly. But now look at her, a vampire herself. Things just got weird…er. "Guys, I uh," she brushed a strand out hair behind her ear. "I think I need to go, you know, with the whole _haven't actually slept in a while because – hello – nocturnal now… _Thing, so I'm pretty tired and –" She was blabbing, in her endless babble way that she often did.

"Right, slayer's gotta get home." Spike took her arm gently, and began to lead her away.

She was blocked from moving though by the two pairs of arms that had suddenly flung their way around her. "We'll see you soon Buffy," Xander choked, finally finding his breath. Willow pulled away teary eyes, and Xander brushed the undead girl's cheek with the back of his hand before, hand in hand, the red head and the brown haired boy left together.

Buffy bit her lip, eyes brimming again with tears. Spike caught her tortured emotion immediately, even before he tasted the salt in the air. He wrapped both his arms around her, understanding now the sudden hurry to leave. "It's gonna be alright slayer." He demanded, whether to her or the universe he didn't know.

Ruefully, she pulled away from him, asking her question without meeting his eyes. "What do I do about Angel?" She whispered.

He thought for a second. "Whatever you want love." Was his distant reply. His heart ached in anticipation of the moment she would leave him. He watched her war with herself before she finally gave in.

"I know you're bad, you kill people Spike, and I can't be like that." She still wasn't looking at him. "Angel has a soul, he can help me, he's good." She looked down. "But for some reason," She looked up at him, seeing tears of his own trying to escape from behind his closed eye lids. "Everything inside of me is screaming at me to forget about Angel, and stay with the big bad." She shook her head in disbelief. "I don't even think I'm in love with him anymore." Her heart panged inside her chest at the realization that she'd lost Angel. It didn't grieve her like she would have thought; rather, the emptiness of her lost love was more for a lost life. Something from another life, not her own. Mortal and unstable.

"You are one hell of a woman." Spike said, totally awe struck. He grabbed her and kissed her again, for the millionth time that day (night). _Who'd have thought, the slayer's mine._


	11. CH 10

"So what are we going to tell Giles?" Willow asked as they reentered the library. "What are we going to tell _Angel?_" Her voice raised in pitch.

Xander took her shoulders in his hands, "Calm down Wills, we'll think of something." He released her to claim a chair at the big round table. "Now we just have to wait for Giles to get back and pray he doesn't know he left." He nodded his head once and them began to boredly drum his finger on the edge of the table.

"Ok, well, I can't just sit around her! I'm antsy. I want to do something." Willow pouted, sitting down in her own chair.

"Alright well, what do you want to do?" He stretched one arm out to the side in a _there is nothing to do _sort of way. "I know!" He said brightly. "How's about a nap?" He banged his forehead against the hard grain of the wood and pretended to snore.

"No, Xander," his friend moaned, pulling on his arm. "Come on, I don't want to just sit here." She raised her eyebrows. "Come on, we can think of something! I know," she looked around. "How about read a book? We can get one with colourful pictures." She smiled cheerfully.

"Come on Will, we are not in the third grade." He answered dully.

"Ok, well, how about we make fun of the people in old year books?" She kept up her hopeful smile.

"That we will never be too mature to do!" And with that the two raced up the stairs of the library in search of the old year books.

"Willow? Xander?" A deep English voice called.

"Oh no," Willow felt her nerves strike up again. "It's them."

Quickly the two ran back to the top of the stairs, stopping to look down at Giles and Angel casually.

"Here we are!" Willow said in a sing song voice, gesturing model-like to herself. "We _so _did not go find Buffy, just like you said, we are right here. Never left. See?"

"Yes, yes, quite." Giles looked at her in his usual _I will never understand teenagers _way, and took off his coat. "Wait, why _are _you still here?" Giles raised a suspicious eyebrow to them. "I thought you were being driven home by Cordelia." He looked around, suddenly noticing her absence. "Where is she?"

"Oh, uh" Willow thought quickly. "We got in a fight! Yeah, and she uh, left without us."

"Yeah, and now we're stuck here. But we really should just have walked home already. Right Wills?" Xander clapped his hands together, pressing his lips into a line. _Right, we were supposed to be going home…_

Buffy stroked the back of Spike's hand while he slept with his arm around her protectively. She couldn't sleep though, exhausted as she was. Her mind just wouldn't grasp that what had happened to her was because of her watcher, her father figure, her _friend _whom she had trusted with her life and more! The pain from the loss of her human life made her hard twist in painful ways, though the organ was forever dead. She would never again feel her heart beating… She unconsciously pressed her finger tips to her chest above her heart, silently wishing to feel a pulse. But disappointment sang to her when she felt only the cloth of the t shirt she wore.

When she sucked in a tattered breath, Spike roused from his slumber. With sleepy eyes, he looked his slayer over, examining the girl who wouldn't return his concerned stare, who stared helplessly at the sheets on her legs and drew painful sounding breaths. He sat up, not removing his arm from its hold on her, and shifted himself to get closer to her. Without a word – much to her gratefulness – he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her into his lap. Spike stroked her hair gently, and waited for her sobs to revisit. They didn't though. Instead of crying like they'd both expected, she nestled herself into him and felt her breathing even itself out effortlessly.

_I wonder what this would have been like without Spike. _She thought to the heavens. Vampire life without Spike seemed utterly unbearable. Really, after the past few days, _any _life without Spike seemed like no life at all. She chuckled lightly; human Buffy would never have felt like _that_.

Spike tilted his head to look at her, _the girl has bloody mood swings. _She'd gone from outright depressed to a giggling girl in a matter of seconds. He'd never quite get her. But then again, the mystery that was she, would make eternity that much more amazing. _Eternity? _The thought of them being together still shocked him outrageously. But, he couldn't have it any other way. He'd nearly fallen to pieces when she'd so much as thought about Angel. What would happen to him if they separated? He shoved the extraordinarily painful thought from his mind and trained his focus on his now smiling girl.

"I can't sleep." She said out of the blue. Looking up at him with playful eyes, she feathered her fingers along his jaw line. "I'm a little bored." That was a lie, she wasn't in the slightest bit bored, there with him, but she was in desperate need of a distraction.

"Alright," he said slowly. "What to do then?" He reached for his black t shirt that lay on the floor beside him, but Buffy stopped him.

"Why don't you forget about that." She smirked with a raised eyebrow. Then she made her way up the ladder.


	12. CH 11

"Do you hear that?" Buffy looked up at Spike, mug of blood only inches from her lips.

"'Course I do." He ignored the sound though, and flipped on the tv.

"Is there something out there?" She asked, eye brows raising. She may not be the slayer, but she was still Buffy right? She could still help people. She _had _to help people. It wasn't so much her duty now as much and it was _her_.

"Probably some new fledges." He shrugged not looking away from the tv.

"Well we've got to stop them." She looked at him expectantly.

He did a double take, looking at her, to the tv, and then very quickly back to her with wide eyes. "What?" He stared at her with sudden realization. "You don't think I'm going out there to kill my own kind do you?" Shaking his head, he laughed humourlessly. "Oh no pet, I'm not all righteous and people saving. Oh no, that's you." He shook his head, returning his attention to the tv.

"Fine, well I'm going." She jumped towards the door, looking around for a second for any kind of stake-ish weapon, though obviously Spike didn't have any on hand.

"Fine." He said in such a Spike way. He scoffed at her retreating figure, watching her huff and puff her way from the crypt. "Crazy bint," he mumbled flipping the channel. "Go ahead and get yourself staked love! Don't come crying to me!" He called after her, hearing the door slam in such a fury that the deadened home shuddered.

For a few minutes, Spike watched some men in a mob threaten each other with bullets through their skulls, before he saw the corpse of a small blonde teenage girl. Obviously the girl the men were fighting over. There was a shovel beside her, and the distant sound of sirens. "Bloody hell." Spike snarled when his undead heart panged at the site of a girl so much like Buffy laying dead. He pulled himself from his leather chair, and pulled the crypt door open.

Out in the chilly night air, he noticed the piles of dust staining the shadowy grass. The stars mocked him, laughing between themselves as his eyes widened impossibly, praying that the dust wasn't from his slayer. He _had _just told her to get herself dusted hadn't he? Or, something close to that. "Damn it." He closed his eyes, suppressing the panic long enough to find her scent. He released a hard breath and let his eyes lead him to the edge of the graveyard. He sniffed at the air every couple of feet, making sure he was still on the right path. Though suddenly, when he noticed another spread of dust, he found himself at a dead end. The slayer's scent stopped there. Panicking, he raced through the streets searching for his lost cause.

"Thanks for putting me up." Buffy said quietly to Willow. "I know inviting me in was probably kind of weird." She gave her friend a half smile, and then pulled Willow's bed covers up to her chin.

From beside her, Willow smiled tiredly. "It's ok, I trust you Buffy." After a beat, "But what happened with Spike? I mean, you guys were so good just a few hours ago." Worry filled her eyes, as that teenage relationshipy stuff worked its magic on her expression.

"Oh, it was nothing really." She shook her head slightly, looking down, a forced smile on her lips. "He just kinda made it seem like he didn't want me around... Like I was some sort of pain..."

"What? But Buffy, Spike loves you! I mean, I think he does, does he?" Her lips remained slightly parted, waiting for her answer.

"I – I don't know. But it doesn't matter. He'd probably end up trying to kill me eventually." The blonde joked, lightening the mood successfully.

"Yeah hey, you don't have to worry about him losing a soul, so you never know." She winked suggestively, knowing that Buffy would know _exactly _what she was talking about.

"Hey," Buffy shoved Willow teasingly. "It's not like that." Another pause, "Yet." She looked up out of her eyelashes smiling.

"oooh I sense some intense making up when you go back." Willow raised her eyebrows just as high as she smiled.

"Bloody hell!" Spike cursed again, stomping down the streets, nearing hysterics. "Where is she – Buffy!" He called out angrily.

"What, lose her already?" A dark voice chuckled from behind him. Whipping himself around for a fight, he caught sight of Angel, luring nearby. "Couldn't hold onto her long enough Spike?" He clicked his tongue over the name mockingly.

"Not now Angel, the girls gone and bloody got herself dust if she's lucky." He shook his head, trying to refrain from getting himself into a fight where he may just meet his match. His grand-sire was no one to mess with. He shoved past him and continued down the side walk.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Angel snarled, game face on, as he pulled Spike's shoulder and making him spin around to face him.

"What I _mean _is, slayer's gone all righteous and holy and went off to fight the vampires, and I just happened to come to a dead end on slayer-scent at the last big pile of dust!" He said each word as though he were speaking to a small incompetent child, voice raising more shrill each word.

Angel watched his face for a second, letting the realization slowly work its way in. "I'll find her." He growled. "Go back to your crypt Spike."

"So now we can make with the munchies!" Willow chirped, loudly throwing the crinkly bag of chips onto Buffy's stomach. "Just let me put the movie on, and we can turn out the lights, it'll be just like old times! You know, except without the whole Angel coming to kill me and my fish thing." She smiled again as Buffy laughed and bite noisily into a chip.

"You know, even though my diet is solely blood now – gross as that is – I don't think I will ever stop liking the tastiness of good old potato chips." She threw Willow a sideways glance, smirking. "Especially the yummy cheesy ones." She crunched another one in her mouth as the red haired girl flicked out the lights and pushed play on the player.

They didn't get to see the ending though, they were both dozing soundly after the first twenty minutes of movie.


	13. CH 12

"Buffy," a slightly rough voice murmured from the darkest corner of the bedroom. Little bits on sunlight were leaking into Willow's room, nearing Buffy as the sun rose higher and higher into the sky that early morning.

Opening her eyes in search of the owner of the voice, Buffy tore the bed sheets off of her and sat up aghast. "Angel?" She gawped at her almost ex. Willow stirred in her sleep beside Buffy, reminding her to be quiet. "Angel what are you doing here?" She asked a little nervously.

"I came looking for you Buffy." He didn't smile; his eyes looked so much darker than she thought was possible. "I was just making sure you're still alive." He looked down to the floor, but then back up at her quickly with a look in his eye that could easily have whispered to her that he was afraid to look away – that she would vanish.

"I'm not." She felt tears prickle behind her eyes and she turned to shake Willow's shoulder, rousing her from her sleep.

Angel opened his mouth and closed it again a few times before he could find his tongue. "I know." He whispered.

Willow sat up rubbing her eyes. "What? Angel? What are you doing here? You're not evil again are you? Because I don't think I can take losing anymore fish." Willow looked up at him doubtfully, earning a half chuckle from Buffy. They all remembered well what had happened to Willow's poor fish. Angel had strung them together like a necklace, and left them in an envelope for Willow to find on her pillow.

"I was just checking on Buffy, I'll leave." He broodingly turned towards the window.

"No!" Willow leaped up, ignoring Buffy's shocked grab for her arm. "I mean, it's getting sunny out, and I don't want you to burn up. Even if you did kill my fish." She looked between Angel and Buffy's mirroring expressions. "What? It's true, I still like Angel even if he scares the begeezus outa me."

Angel ignored her almost harsh words, and sat down in a chair far enough away from the window that he hoped he wouldn't have to worry about the deadly rays of the sun. "We need to talk." He said suddenly, without taking his eyes off the suddenly very interesting window.

"I guess we do." Buffy answered, watching his carefully.

"Well then I'll leave you too alone. Breakfast time!" She skipped to the door, pulling it open. "You want anything?" She directed the offer at the slayer turned vampire.

"No thanks Will." She watched the door ease shut, and waited for Willow to leave ear shot.

After a few moments of awkwardness, Angel moved a little closer to Buffy. "So, you're living with Spike now?" He winced as though the words were physically hurting him to say.

"I dunno," she shrugged, looking down. "We kinda had it off last night. He got kind of harsh." She forced a weak smile, acting as though it didn't bother her. Her almost ex boyfriend saw right through her though.

"What did he do?" Angel's eyes found hers. "Did you hurt you?" Voice shaking with slight hysteria at the remembrance of his grand-childe's strength.

"No, no." Buffy made a face that told him he was nearing insanity. "He, I dunno he kinda acted like I was just some annoying kid to him." She looked at him gingerly. "He told me that he wouldn't care if I got killed – again."

"Yeah well don't take it personally, it's _Spike,_ and in case you forgot Buffy, he spent the last while trying to kill you. I don't see why you'd run off to be with _him _when there are so many other people here for you!" All of his anger towards the bleach blonde came toppling out of his mouth, coating his words with venom.

"He's not the only one who was trying to kill me." She pointed out sadly.

Angel sighed and turned away. "I know." It was silent again for a while. "Buffy, why don't you stay with one of us? You could still be you. You could patrol at night, and go to the Bronze, and have fun." He seemed ready to continue his list but Buffy cut him off.

"Angel," she shook her head. "I'm more scared than I ever thought was possible. And Spike is helping me." Looking at Angel's pained expression; Buffy felt a wave of old emotion return to her. She _loved _this man. He was her everything once upon a time. "What happened to us?" he breathed.

His only answer was to wrap her in his arms, and pretend for a second that they were okay, and for just a second, she closed her eyes and pretended with him. Living a little part of her lost life. God she missed him. But if wasn't him anymore. She no longer crippled over in pain or lost her lungs when she thought about him being gone.

When he gave up on waiting for her answer, he made to leave. Standing at the window which he had pulled open, letting stinging light through, he stopped and took a deep breath, looking down. "You should find Spike." He said glumly without looking at her, and then he was gone.

Racing to the window from the bed, Buffy looked out the window dreading to see a burning man on the Rosenburg's front lawn. She was relieved to see a man hole slide shut out in the street.

"Where's Angel?" Willow asked nervously when she came back in. She looked around for her vampire friend, but grew more and more nervous when she didn't find him anywhere.

"He left," Buffy said with a slight smile. "He said that I have some damage control to do with Spike." She chuckled and got up from the bed.

"You're not leaving are you?" Willow asked with wide eyes. "I was hoping we could call Xander, have a real good hang out just like we used to." Her eyes pleaded with Buffy's.

Laughing again, Buffy said "Aww Will I wasn't going anywhere." She wrapped her friend in a tight hug. "And you know this _used to_ thing you keep talking about isn't past tense, and I _was_ human just like a week ago. So chill ok?" She pulled out of the hug and picked up the receiver to the phone on Willow's side table. "Let's make with the Xander calling."

While Willow was on the phone, Buffy realized how ravenous she was. When was the last time she'd had... _Blood?_ No, she wouldn't think about that. Today was about being normal again. She could pretend for today that she was still human. _No thinking about blood._ She scolded the Buffy brain.

"Hey Wills, do you think we could make some popcorn or something?" She said brightly. Didn't Spike usually eat people food when he couldn't have blood? _Who knows, maybe it'll help._

"I know Rupert, I just..." Joyce looked out the window, and then back at Giles before finishing her sentence. "I just miss her. I mean," she put her hands out to the side and then clapped them together. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." Joyce felt the hard pain in her chest while she spoke about her deceased daughter. But she was cried out. She'd cried for the past week without stopping, and she felt like she'd never cry again. Now she was just tired.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Giles cleaned his glasses, completely forgetting the reason he'd come. Now he was at a loss for words to say.

"If I could just see her one more time, tell her I love her..." She shook her head.

Giles hesitated, deliberating. "What if..." _No I can't tell her, _he thought changing his mind. _She just wouldn't understand._ But then deciding that as her mother, she had a right to know. "What if I told you that you _could _see Buffy again?" His face was blank.

"Rupert please," she whispered. "I don't think I can take this. Maybe you should leave." _Is he _trying _to kill me?_

Xander made it over in record time, and the three friends were joyously eating popcorn in Willow's room. Buffy was overjoyed when she found that the popcorn helped with the whole blood lust thing. _Maybe I could live off this stuff... _She thought. But decided that it was probably stupid to encourage such notions.

"So you're gonna go back to Spike tonight?" Willow asked, eyebrows up in a hopeful _relationships are beautiful _sort of way. "Want us to come? You know, in case he's still a little angry." She rolled her eyes to the side, internally kicking herself.

"Yeah Buff, we'll come with you. Say hi to the old Spikester." Xander smiled brilliantly. _There is just too many things to say about that guys hair! _He thought with a chuckle.

"What?" Buffy questioned, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"Nothing," Xander brushed her off quickly. _Control your thoughts Xander, no laughing at stuff other people can't hear!_


	14. CH 13

Deliberating his next move, Spike realized that he had no _motives._ He had no _plans_; he had no _reason_ with her gone. Maybe a new slayer would come to him; maybe he would go to her. Either way, it wasn't the same. He missed _his_ slayer. Wherever she was. Hell probably.

_I need a drink_. He thought to himself with distaste. He found it much easier to think evilly if he weren't sober. _Or if you actually still had an evil though in that head of yours..._

He was nearing the Bronze when he caught a familiar scent. It smelled like righteousness and some kind of evil tainted holiness. Tainted innocence. He turned his head in the direction of Buffy's scent with high hopes, and began to follow it. He really didn't know why he cared so much. He should be trying to kill her, enjoy her weakened state and off her. But no. He'd grown _attached_.

A swirl of blonde hair fluttered in the distance as Buffy turned herself around, catching his scent in the breeze. Eyes wide, she took a hesitant step towards her.

_I'm gonna kill her._ He thought as he saw the small smile crinkle her eyes. _Rip her heart out an' feed it to her._ He snarled low in his chest, and she heard it. Taking a horrified step back, she wondered just how much _damage _she'd done. Angel said she needed to do some damage control, but she never guessed the extent of it.

"Spike," she whispered, trying to bring him to reason.

He walked towards her with as much threat as he could muster in his steps, and stopped mere inches from her, glaring down at her frightened face. "I could kill you slayer." He snarled viciously.

"Spike, I'm sorry." Her voice barely audible in her inner turmoil.

"Thought you were dust I did." His face showed a monster, but his eyes were soft with relief. _She's alive. ... Ish._

"I thought you wanted me to leave." Her eyes stung.

He stared at her for a second, deliberating quickly. Then in one quick movement he grabbed her wrist and slammed her into the brick wall of the club. With a heavy growl, his lips crashed into hers. Angrily kissing away the memories of pain from her absence. "Don't leave." He snarled at her through his kiss.

She pulled him closer to her, half ignoring his words, half rejoicing in them.

"Hello? Willow?" Joyce asked into the phone the next morning.

"Yes?" A small voice replied to her.

"Hi Willow, it's Joyce Summers." She said with relief.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Summers. How are you?"

"Oh, I was just calling to see how you were doing is all." _Buffy's poor friends must be in an awful state._ She thought to herself.

"Oh I'm great Mrs. Summers. Peachy." Willow said happily.

"Really?" _Well, perhaps they weren't as close as they seemed. _"I meant about the whole... Buffy... thing." She confirmed.

"Oh, Oh!" Willow exclaimed. "Yeah, uh, it's really hard Mrs. Summers. But uh, hey, I have to go!" She said quickly. "Bye!" With that she hung up, leaving Joyce with raised eye brows and a wide mouth. After a second, she shrugged her shoulders and decided to call Xander.

"Was it really that bad?" Buffy teased Spike, jabbing his ribs as they settled in for the day.

He scoffed. "Bad? Please, I _hoped _you'd be gone. Bloody pain in my ass you are, pet." He smirked at the false pout she gave. Chuckling, he leaned in for a kiss. "Don't do it again, or I'll be forced to kill you myself." He snickered, sliding deeper under the covers.

"If it makes a difference, I thought about you a lot." She perched herself on her elbow, looking down at him and resting her hand on his chest.

"You're just saying that 'cause you want free blood."

"Hmm, maybe." Smirking, she kissed him again, this time a little bit longer.

"Maybe I'll show you how it feels," he said pulling away. "Leave you for a while, see how you cope."

"No," she tried to keep her voice calm through her sudden panic. _He's joking right? I mean, he wouldn't _actually _leave me. _She waited for her pulse to quicken, and was slightly disappointed when it didn't.

"'m not goin' anywhere pet." He reassured her when he saw her scared eyes. He knew she didn't stand much of a chance fending for herself. But then again she could always just go back to Angel... _Bloody hell, I'll burn in the sun before I let that wanker touch my girl again._ Feeling suddenly very territorial – it must have been he's demon reacting – he grabbed her and pulled her on top of him, kissing her roughly again. "We'll both stay then yeah?" He asked through short gasps. Vampires didn't generally need to breath, but Spike was a _very _strange vampire, and so was Buffy.

"We'll both stay." She smiled, letting her hair fall from her shoulders to tickle his bare chest. She let him support her weight for a while before she snuggled into him and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Spike's on the other hand, was not so dreamless. His dreams were filled with fire and pain and maniacal laughter that exploded from all around him. Then it was dark, and he was alone. Alone until a glimmer of golden light shone down from somewhere he couldn't see. It was above him, but he may have been upside down from the pressure he was feeling in his slowly numbing skull. The light grew bigger and bigger, and he wondered if it was the sun, coming to finally take him. But the sun turned into wisps of hair, hair that fell around the shoulders of a girl. Buffy. Only she was still alive, and well... Being alive, she still hated him. She pulled out a stake from behind her – where had she hidden that? – and stabbed it through his chest. The stake didn't kill him though, instead it burned and burned and burned for what seemed like an eternity, before she pulled it out and kissed the wound, sucking the blood into her mouth. Confused, he watched as her blunt human teeth turned into fangs, and then she was the Buffy that he knew, strong and undead and just as lethal as ever, and her sharp canines dug into him, bringing more pain than the stake had. _"You'll never leave." _She said in a voice that wasn't hers. With a start, he woke up.

Sweat had soaked him during the nightmare, and he found himself panting for breath. He turned to see Buffy laying beside him, for the comfort her presence would give him from the dream. But she wasn't there. Panic gripping him, he searched the room that was empty of unlife accept for him. "Buffy?" He called, and let out the breath he'd been holding when he heard her dim answer.


	15. CH 14

_What in the bloody hell?_ He knew _that_ feeling anywhere, the one that only a sire – or in this case grand-sire – could give. With an angry huff, he tore the sheets off of him and made for the ladder to the upper section of his crypt. _That wanker thinks he can come in here, my crypt and see my girl?_ Game face forward, he stepped out into the candle lit room.

He quietly listened, his name catching his attention though he hadn't been caught yet. "I still don't understand." Angel was saying, and Spike instantly found his possibly innocent words threatening. Though he was quickly proven right. "You don't just wake up one day and stop loving someone." He brooded.

"You don't just wake up one day dead either," Spike's girl pointed out. "I don't know Angel, I don't think I stopped loving you, I just..." Spike found himself growling before he realized the sound himself, then noticed Buffy jump away from Angel's arm, which he had wrapped around her waist. He snarled at his grand-sire, and then watched as Buffy ran over to him, getting between him and his enemy.

"Angel was just – checking on me." She explained with a nervous edge in her calm voice.

Her reassuring words did nothing to ease the rumbling in his chest and the fiery daggers in his eyes. "Get out." He said with a ferocious growl.

"I was just making sure she was still alive." Angel growled back, game face coming forward in his anger.

"Alive? Oh please," Spike scoffed. "I did less killing when it came to her than you did, and you were her _lover_." He said the latter word with as much venom as he could muster, grinning when the rival vampire flinched.

"Spike stop it," Buffy put her hands on his chest, pleading him silently to let Angel off. She may have no longer loved him like she used to, but she definitely didn't want him to get hurt. At all. Ever.

"Get out." He growled again, though his tough demeanour had softened slightly.

Angel turned to leave, but stopped with his hand on the door, and without turning spoke quietly to Buffy. "If you ever change your mind, need something more than this, Buffy... You know where to find me."

Buffy grabbed Spike's arm tightly as he moved to attack her former lover, and let him make his quick escape. Feeling more insecure about his relationship than he ever had – even when Drusilla had been sleeping with Angelus – he refused to look at his slayer. She didn't let go of his arm though as he turned to get himself some blood, instead she leaned her forehead into his shoulder and stroked her fingers up his arm soothingly.

"I'm sorry about that." She said miserably. "I didn't think he'd go that far."

"You gonna take him up on his offer or what pet?" He asked without emotion.

She stared at him dumbfounded, _how could he even think that? _ Thinking her pause was hesitation, he forced himself to look down at her. He was taken aback at her hurt expression.

Shaking his head he leaned down and kissed her. "Stayin' with me?" He asked, looking for reassurance.

"Always." She let him wrap her arms around her, and returned the favour.

"I brought ice cream!" Willow squealed when she moved into the crypt that afternoon.

"And I brought movies!" Xander said from behind her, holding up a series of tapes that the three of them loved to watch.

Shocked yet excited to see her friends, Buffy pulled herself out of the lap of her tired vampire and into the waiting arms of her two best friends. "Guys! You're here!" She exclaimed, bouncing up and down joyously. "Ohmygod," she said, slurring the words into one. "Willow I have so much to tell you." Her words came out in a rush as she babbled heatedly. "Xander! I hear you have something to tell me!" Her suggestive wink left him blushing as she took them each by the hand and lead them over to where the television set that Spike had most likely stolen sat on a small table.

"It's true! He does!" Willow nudged him, waiting for him to explain himself. "Hi Spike!" She waved shyly, pleased to see his returning wave. Buffy beamed at her friend, glad to see that maybe her human life and vampire life _could _merge. "Tell her Xan," she bumped his shoulder, expectantly waiting for his story to come up yet again.

"Will, come on, the whole world doesn't need to know." He kept his eyes forward to the floor in front of him, blushing furiously.

"Xander." Buffy gave him an incredulous look that told him that she would force it from him if she had to.

Off in his corner Spike chuckled, not having seen this side of the slayer in a long while.

"Ok, ok, but not in front of him." Xander pointed anxiously towards the still chuckling vampire in the arm chair.

"Hey," he replied in a tone of mock insult. "I'll probably just hear it later anyways, might as well only get it out once." He grinned at Xander's embarrassed groan.

"Fine, fine." He took a deep breath before blurting out all at once, "Me and Anya slept together and now we're kinda going out." He closed his eyes against the explosion of laughter from the bleach blonde pain in the ass, and the squeals of excitement from the girls who flung him into a very teenage like group hug.

"OhmygodXander!" Buffy shouted, squeezing him tightly – not in any means _too_ tightly.

"I just want her away from him." Angel said to Giles, who had agreed to meet him before his visit to the still mourning Joyce Summers.

"I know you do Angel, but what do you expect me to do? She won't even look at me let alone take advice to leave the man she's in love with." Angel flinched at the harsh words, and Giles softened his voice. "There is nothing I can do Angel, I'm sorry."

"What if we kill him?" He asked a little too hopefully.

"Angel-" Giles gasped, flabbergasted.

"I know, I know, that would hurt her." He paused, deliberating. "Or would it..."

"Yes! Yes it would!"

"Alright, alright, so we need a new plan." Angel shook his head, taking a sip of the tea he'd ordered.

"No Angel, _you_ need a new plan. I want nothing to do with this." His words muffled as he in turn took a large sip of steaming hot tea, trying to avoid his partner in conversations eyes.

"Giles – Mr. Giles," he corrected himself quickly when he earned a glare from the man who still held a grudge against him for his brief couple of weeks as an evil soulless vampire. "I can't do this by myself, and you want him gone just as much as I do. Especially with Drusilla on her way here, you know who he'll pick, and who he'll turn against."

"I know, I know, I won't let him hurt her Angel, I just don't want to do any more damage myself."

"You'll help me though?"

"So long as I am not involved directly, then I suppose so. But I must say that Mrs. Summers would have been a much better choice for this affair." Giles fixed his glasses, which had slid to the edge of his nose while he sipped his drink.


	16. CH 15

"Angel?" Willow's tiny voice asked nervously into the darkness across the street from the Summers' home.

"Willow?" He asked, just as nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? I was just – hey, I'm the best friend I get to ask the questions here." She puffed up her chest in what she hoped was an intimidating manner. "What are you doing here?"

He chuckled, smiling warmly at the girl he'd grown attached to – whether or not she had felt the same friendly-ish-ness towards him. "I was just coming to check on Mrs. Summers, see how she's doing." He shrugged. "It's been hard on all of us."

"Hard on – oh, yes. Yes it has been very hard." _Wow, I'm a terrible liar. _ "Actually, Buffy's been doing pretty great. Minus the whole _oh dear lord I'm a vampire _thing, she's still the same old Buffy. Except, with a much annoying bleach blond boyfriend – who isn't really that bad once he isn't trying to kill you"

"Willow," Angel cut off her crazed babbling with a raise of his hand. "You don't have to remind me about Buffy and Spike. I already got the hint."

"Oh. Sorry." The redhead blushed and looked down. "But, I don't think seeing Joyce is the best thing right now. I mean, she's finally starting to not cry all the time and if you go in there and start reminding her about all the things she was crying about in the first place won't that just start her crying again?" _Or is crying supposed to be... Good? As in closure?_

"Don't worry Willow, I was just checking in. Being the nice boyfriend – or ex-boyfriend... Oh her late daughter."

"You know, it's really weird talking about Buffy like she's dead." Willow complained. "Half the time I feel like I'm insulting her memory, but then I remember that she isn't even actually dead!"

Angel chuckled again, amused by the small girls flustered behaviour. "But unlike you and I, Joyce is mourning." He looked towards the house, giving a clear message that he intended to say goodbye to his collaborator.

"Well, I still don't think it's a good idea." Her face twisted into her adorable _this is a bad idea _face, and she looked nervously between the house and the vampire in indecision.

"Don't worry about it; I'll go in, say hello, and leave. You have nothing to worry about."

"If Buffy finds out..." Willow warned.

"Why would Buffy have a problem with it?" His expression suddenly contorted into one of regret. "She knows I'd never hurt Joyce."

"Oh, I know that! Really, I do. I was just saying, I don't know if – see Buffy really misses her mom, and if you can see her and she can't –"

"I know Will, don't worry." He gave a small smile to the girl and turned towards the house.

"Wait! Maybe I should come with you – I am the best friend after all."

"_There have been over 8 bodies found on the borders of East Sunnydale, in just the past 3 days." The television reported fixed his cue cards. "Police are looking for an animal, possibly a pack, with large teeth. We recommend that you stay in the house after dark, with your doors and windows locked, and that parents keep close eyes on their children." The reporter put his hand to his ear, listening intently to the voice speaking through the headpiece. "Make that 9 bodies. All of which were found in the morning, and only hours dead."_

Giles put his tea cup down on the coffee table with a clatter, and worried through the channels on his television set, clicking the button on the remote until he reached yet another news broadcast.

"_4 missing along with the 8 dead, police are still searching for the killer-"_

He clicked the TV off, and took his glasses from his nose. "Oh dear lord." _The last time we had numbers like that was when..._ He stood and went to the phone quickly, dialling the number of Xander Harris. The phone rang twice before a sleep muffled voice came on the other end. "Xander? Hello? It's Giles, have you seen the news?" A pause. "N-no, I did not bother to check the time before-" A frustrated annoyance floated through his bright blue eyes. "Xander I think this is rather serious. Drusilla is back, and she's been killing and probably turning many people and all you can think about is-" Rolling his eyes to the ceiling he made a very non-Giles cuss. "This is important! Drusilla is back for her childe and she will _not _be happy to find said childe with Buffy!" He returned his glasses to their rightful spot. "Yes, get Willow and meet me here. We'll have to go find her." He pressed the phone between his shoulder and ear while he went in search for various weapons. "No we cannot get Buffy!" He scoffed, not understanding the source of the boy's stupidity. "Because Xander," he spoke as if to a challenged child. "Buffy will bring _Spike, _who I gather would _not_ be at all pleased about us killing his _sire _and past _love_." Rolling his eyes yet again he hung up the phone with as much emphasis as the greatest italics would have.

"How's my girl?" Spike purred, wrapping his arms around Buffy from behind and nibbling at her jaw line.

Without answering, she absently tickled her fingers along his forearm, staring out at the many grave stones in the cemetery. Mind only on one of them.

"What's wrong, love?" _Her death is what's wrong you ponce._

"Just thinking." She whispered, still staring.

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, he shifted slightly on his feet, loosening his arm around her waist.

"Don't go." She said just as quietly, grabbing his hands back to where he'd taken them away from. "Spike?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't know if I like being a vampire." She grimaced out over the plane of stone and shrubbery.

Nervously, he moved the heel of his boot into the ground. "That so?"

"Yeah."

_Odd girl, not very chatty tonight. _"Well maybe I can make it better." He smirked behind her suggestively, but his expression turned sombre when she pulled away from him and walk towards her own fresh grave. "Buffy?" She didn't answer, only stood and stared at the engraved stone for what seemed like eternity. When she turned back though she was smiling broadly.

"But I am glad about one thing." She bounced over to him and into his arms and pressed her lips to his.

When she finally pulled away he smiled without opening his eyes. "Sure glad of that I am, pet." He chuckled when she stood on tip toe to kiss him again.


	17. CH 16

"We need to warn Buffy and Spike. They could be in some very real danger." Giles looked at the three teens – one very terminal teen mind you – in front of him frantically.

"So tell her." _Man, for such a smart guy he's really... Not smart. _Xander gave the Watcher a look that was the very personification of annoyance. "You know all the facts, you're smart Watcher-guy, she'll listen."

"That's the problem." He muttered, turning away slightly in shame.

"What?"

"Buffy doesn't... Trust me – so much anymore." He admitted repentantly. "I don't really think she'll listen."

"We can talk to her –" Willow rearranged her thoughts at the look that Angel leant her. "I mean, no, Giles, it really should be you that tells her."

Giles sighed, "Perhaps you're right. I just don't want to see her hurt. Or – more dead." He winced, the thought tormenting him.

"Mr. Giles," Angel began, "I think you should just go. If she gets a hint that you're coming she might bolt."

"What exactly did happen?" Xander's protectiveness for his less alive friend streaked forward, and he raised a hand to halt the conversation.

"Never mind that right now, Mr. Giles, we can't wait. If Drusilla's getting closer... She won't be happy about Buffy being with Spike, and she has this habit of making minions. A lot of them. She doesn't kill them though. She always had William or I do it." _Maybe it's a good thing if Drusilla comes for Spike... That would live Buffy..._

"Right, right. I'll be off then."

Giles left, and the three stood there awkwardly, shuffling their feet and looking at the floor.

"Weather's been nice." Angel offered uncomfortably.

"Yep." Willow pursed her lips to the interesting tile beneath her feet.

"We should probably go look, in case he can't find them." _Any chance of escape from this awkward fest..._

"Yeah, let's split up. Weak humans on one team, strong well capable Vamp on the other." Xander said, grabbing Willow by the elbow and leading her out.

_Oh thank god. _Angel thought relieved, and followed them out, heading in the opposite direction.

"Dear lord, I can't find them anywhere." Giles paced nervously in front of the library table after the relentless search his Slayer had just lead them on.

"Us either, didn't even find a clue, like a cigarette butt, or a dead body – I'm just saying! Spike likes to eat people!" Willow defensively covered her ill chosen words.

"This isn't good. What is Dru found them already?" Angel nearly knocked his chair over with the force of his abrupt standing. "What if she-"

"Angel!" Xander called sternly. "Chill man, they could be anywhere. We might have crossed their path. There must have been somewhere we didn't check. Giles?"

"No, no. We've checked everywhere in Sunnydale and on the outskirts. They aren't here."

"What about a location spell? That could be useful." Willow supplied hopefully. _Yay, magic. _Her errant suggestion being quickly ignored, remembrance of her last spell corrupting all of their minds.

"We'll look again. Don't stop until you've found them."

"But where could they be?"

"Hank, I understand exactly what you're saying. But the police are doing everything they can. They think it was an animal, which it very well could have been. And if it was it's probably left town." Joyce listened with practiced patience to the man on the other end of the phone. "Yes, I understand – No! You can't kill it!" Moments passed. _This would be so much easier if he knew about Vampires. _"Yes, yes Hank. I do realize that, I just – Hank, this is ridiculous – Stop interrupting me!" Rolling her head to the ceiling, the mother of the late Buffy Summers dropped the receiver to her shoulder for a few seconds break of the horribly accusing voice of her ex husband. "Yes Hank." Her voice was calmer now. "Yes, I'll call you tomorrow." She hung up without a goodbye, and slumped against the wall, head hanging in her hands. _God Buffy, we should have stayed in LA. You should have been normal..._

"Ok this is bad." Xander said another series of hours later. "This is really, really bad."

"I agree." Willow chimed, raising her hand in agreement.

"What are we supposed to do?" Angel threw his hands up, frustration building with his rage.

"A location spell! They're really simple, you just-"

"No, no spells, we aren't using any _bloody_ magic." Giles snapped.

"Well I think maybe we should. We've been looking long enough. We need to find Buffy." Xander supported his red haired friend without doubt.

"I agree, Willow get the stuff. We're running out of time. Anything could have happened to them by now.

"Oh Miss Edith you naughty thing." A dark giggle reverberated throughout the dark barn. "We mustn't!" Another soft yet cruel laugh escaped the female Vampire's lips. "Now darling, come have tea with Mummy." She said to the figure tied up on the wall. "Miss Edith's been a good girl, so she gets to watch."

Drusilla walked her way over to the petite girl and loosened the chains that bound her. Weak, she slumped to the dusty hay floor of the shelter. "Please," she begged quietly.

"Oh, don't you worry my treat; we _are _going to have much fun!" She lifted the lump of human into a half broken wooden chair, and dropped her form into an impossibly uncomfortable position. "You just be good." She quirked her finger up in emphasis of her sharp words.

"Here, the light is going this way." Giles pointed and weaved his way through the trees, flashlight leading the way.

"I can't see!" Willow complained edgily, tripping over various roots and stones.

"I can." Angel said amused, but took her arm in guidance.

"Ok, that's just weird." Xander's statement of the obvious went unnoticed by the confused group.

The light from the spell had stopped dead in the middle of the forest, and was lowering itself into the ground. No sooner than the cluster of people had caught up had it vanished beneath the cold hard dirt.

"Perhaps they are underground?" Giles took off his glasses – which were useless in dark anyway – and cleaned them on his shirt.

"Maybe..." Willow thought hard. "Or maybe they're-" She cut off short, unable to say the word that they were all thinking. _Dust._


End file.
